Train up a child in the way he should go
Proverbs 22:6 A principle, not a promise
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 NASB1995
When I look at my childhood and early education, it makes me happy that I was born in the 1950s and brought up in the 60s and 70s. My parents must have done a pretty good job of raising me, since I’d like to think that I still adhere to many of the positive values that they passed along to me in my formative years. Even my schoolteachers, at least up to junior high school, were instrumental in teaching me and my classmates to get along well with others, to respect authority, and to honor our parents and love our country.
As a reader of Heaven on Wheels, you know of my admiration for the Books of Psalms and Proverbs; both contain a wealth of wisdom. About Proverbs and wisdom, Wikipedia says this:
Proverbs is not merely an anthology but a "collection of collections" relating to a pattern of life which lasted for more than a millennium. It is an example of the biblical wisdom literature, and raises questions of values, moral behaviour, the meaning of human life, and right conduct, and its theological foundation is that "the fear of God (meaning submission to the will of God) is the beginning of wisdom". Wisdom is praised for her role in creation; God acquired her before all else, and through her he gave order to chaos; and since humans have life and prosperity by conforming to the order of creation, seeking wisdom is the essence and goal of life.
Today’s Proverb would be a handy piece of wisdom to give to any new parent. All except the most cruel or negligent of parents knows that a child needs training. You don’t just have a child and throw it food from time to time; it’s important to give them some direction. And many parents are smart enough to know that they need to point their child in the right direction so that they’ll grow up to be accepted and respected in society.
The Hebrew word for “way he should go” is דֶּרֶךְ (dereḵ), defined literally as a road, but figuratively as “a course of life or mode of action”. Although I never had the opportunity to be a parent, I know enough by observation and experience that a good parent determines the strengths and weaknesses of their child, and takes those into account when training them for life.
This takes into account respecting the child’s individuality and career dreams, but within a moral framework that makes them an asset to society. I loved this literal translation of the Hebrew from British evangelist G. Campbell Morgan, who said:
‘Train up a child according to his way.’In every child there are special and peculiar powers. The true business of training a child therefore, is that of discovering what those powers are, and developing them…. Herein is revealed the need for individual work. No two children are alike.” (author’s emphasis) 1
Once a child has been trained in the proper way by his or her parents, the Proverb says that they “will not depart from it”. Now, this is a principle and not a promise. It certainly happened with me and Barb over our lifetimes. As David Guzik points out in Enduring Word,
When a child is trained in the proper way, though they may depart for a season (and a long season), in principle they will return and not depart from it.
We departed for many years from God’s presence, yet we returned and now refuse to depart from it!
Solomon, who is credited as the writer of many of the Proverbs, certainly stopped listening to instruction and strayed from what he had been taught as a child by his father, David. Solomon even knew that young people would have a rebellious streak and choose sin, writing in Proverbs 2:12-17
“To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things; From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; Who delight in doing evil And rejoice in the perversity of evil; Whose paths are crooked, And who are devious in their ways; To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words; That leaves the companion of her youth And forgets the covenant of her God;”
and Proverbs 19:26-27
”He who assaults his father and drives his mother away Is a shameful and disgraceful son. Cease listening, my son, to discipline, And you will stray from the words of knowledge.“
Sadly, Solomon didn’t listen to his own advice. Of course, his father David wasn’t exactly a paragon of virtue, setting into place actions that would result in the death of Uriah the Hittite as he lusted after Bathsheba (Uriah’s wife and eventually Solomon’s mother). Perhaps this Proverb is instructive after all, as Solomon simply followed his father’s footsteps… and went a bit further.
Solomon Surrounded by His Wives, Joos van Winghe (1544–1603) (copy of), The Bowes Museum
Solomon was said to have 700 wives and 300 concubines, so his faithfulness to one wife was definitely in question. His faithfulness to God was swayed by many of those wives and concubines from foreign lands, who brought with them their own deities and asked Solomon to build temples in honor of them. In Deuteronomy 17:16-17, a king is commanded to not to hoard (multiply) horses, wives, gold, or silver. Solomon failed in all of these areas.
God responded by removing all but one of the tribes of Israel from Solomon’s kingdom. Solomon’s own son Rehoboam caused a civil war that resulted in the tribes of Israel and Judah being separated forever. Perhaps if David had been more of an example to his heir to the throne and trained “up a child in the way he should go”, the lives of both David and Solomon would have been less of a disappointment to God.
Heaven On Wheels Daily Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for giving many people the responsibility and joy of children You place in their lives. Please guide them in the ways to teach and train them, and I pray that many of today’s young children grow up with godly conduct, make wise choices in their lives, learn to be responsible towards others, and accountable to authority. Keep children away from worldly ways and direct their lives if their parents don’t, and may they never depart from the path of righteousness. I pray this in Jesus’ name, AMEN.
Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. lockman.org.
Quotations from Enduring Word made with written permission of the author.
Morgan, G. Campbell "Searchlights from the Word" (New York: Revell, 1926)