Speaking The Truth In Love
Ephesians 4:15 - You keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means*
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“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Ephesians 4:15 NIV
At a church we used to attend, the phrase “speaking the truth in love” was used a lot… and usually not in the way Paul intended it to be used. Most people take this as meaning that Christians should be gentle, kind, and inoffensive when we’re sharing difficult truths. After all, wouldn’t you prefer to be told that you are sinning, need to repent, and turn away from that sin forever in a non-threatening and loving way? Or even better, wouldn’t it be “nice” if you just didn’t tell me that I’m a sinner?
That’s how most of us have been taught to interpret this verse, but there’s more to it than that mild explanation provides. At this point in Ephesians, Paul is writing about unity in the body of Christ (the church) and starts off Chapter 4 with the exhortation to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” That life should be filled with humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another in love, and moving toward unity. He follows that by describing how Christ gave us “apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:11-13, my emphasis).
By reaching that maturity, we “will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.” (Ephesians 4:14)
That is where today’s verse comes in. Paul is telling us to speak the truth to each other — with love — so we can grow in our spiritual maturity. This love is agape love, a self-sacrificing love that works to the benefit of the one receiving the love. The words that come from our mouths need to be beneficial to those who are listening.
As members of the body of Christ, we should never deceive or lie to one another. We should never hide unsavory things about our lives from others because we’re ashamed or because we want others to see us as better than we are. Our relationship with others in the body of Christ must be honest. We must speak the truth, as dishonesty is unloving.
This brings us back to the key phrase — speaking the truth in love. Truth and love go together; if we love each other, we must speak the truth to one another. There’s nothing written here about being gentle, kind, and inoffensive. The truth may, and probably will, hurt!
As Christians, we are also to love those who do not know Christ, and the best way to show that love is to share the truth of the gospel. Without Christ, people are dead in their sins and face an eternity apart from God; in Christ, these same people receive new life and eternal salvation. That’s the message we share — the Good News — because we love the people for whom Jesus sacrificed His life. Speaking God’s truth is done because of His love.
Heaven On Wheels Daily Prayer:
Lord, there are many in the Church who distort the Word of truth and abuse the gifts of the Spirit. Lead me to always speak Your truth and to share the Good News with others, reflecting Your love for all of Your people through that message. May I receive Your guidance in speaking the truth to others with grace and forgiveness in such a way that we may all grow in our spiritual maturity and emulate the love of Jesus. AMEN.