Know My Anxious Thoughts
Psalms 139:23 This one goes out to my wife, who is having very anxious thoughts after a medical issue, surgery, and hospital stay
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts;”
Psalms 139:23 NASB1995
It is hard for most of us to put all of our trust in God. It’s even harder when you’re a person whose job it was for many years to delve into the causes of failures on launch vehicles - my wife. The other half of Heaven On Wheels, Barb, had a sudden medical issue come up while we were on an RV camping trip. We headed home quickly from the outskirts of Tucson, Arizona, and on the last day drove directly from Las Vegas, New Mexico to our HMO Urgent Care office. Within a few hours she was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital, and about seven hours after our return she had abdominal surgery…
She stoically went through a lot of pain on the way back from Arizona, and has bounced back from Saturday night’s surgery very quickly. Today, however, she has been quite anxious and, once again, her engineer’s brain has been questioning a lot of the after-care medications and procedures prescribed to her. I’ve been praying, she’s been praying, most of our friends have been praying; but she’s still quite worried. There comes a time when we have to pass along our anxious thoughts to God and just stop spinning our mental wheels.
King David, the psalmist, had so many things to worry about. He had many enemies, both in his own kingdom and in most — if not all — of the countries surrounding him. In this verse, David is doing what he does best — passing on his anxieties to his Lord. He knew that God is a God of love, and that he could trust Him to search and know his innermost thoughts. In the first part of this verse, David is admitting that God knew him better than he knew himself.
In his wisdom, David asked God to examine him and look for worry, since his anxieties could be evidence of disbelief or a lack of trust in God. Being human and subject to pain, uncertainty, and medical practitioners who seem to be sleepwalking, we do get anxious. That’s when we need to step back, look at what we can do in our limited ways to resolve or minimize issues, and then hand the rest to God.
The best relief from our anxious thoughts comes from pausing before fretting, reaching out to God for His help, and asking those who are nearby to be His hands, feet, and voice for assistance when we need it.
Heaven On Wheels Daily Prayer:
God, I really don’t want to be anxious, especially when I know that I should pass my worried thoughts onto You. But You know me better than I know myself, and You know that I find it really hard to place my cares and worries in Your hands. Help me, Dear Lord, to give You my anxious thoughts before I start to worry. Help me to reach out to You for help before I try figuring things out for myself, for You have promised to help me in all my troubles. Thank You for being such a faithful God! AMEN.