How to love your neighbor
A few thoughts on trying to follow the Biblical commandment to "Love your neighbor as yourself"
My last post here at Heaven On Wheels focused on Romans 13:8-10, in which the Apostle Paul says:
“Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
Romans 13:8-10 NASB1995
In that post, I noted that while it is one of the most important commandments, it’s also one of the most difficult to keep! Take, for example, our trip this morning to the grocery store. There was a guy in a truck who didn’t appear to know where he was going, stopped in the middle of the street, and then almost collided with me when he turned from the wrong lane and had to cross three lanes of traffic to get onto the highway.
Twice within a few short minutes, I didn’t love my neighbor. As I noted in the last post about neighbors, “It’s everyone and anyone you meet with or deal with every day, in your house or outside of it, and in our connected world, it means people you deal with online as well.” For his first “offense” I questioned his mental abilities aloud; the second time around I honked my horn, made a rude gesture and called him a rather unsavory name when he almost ran into me.
I guess I’m still a work in progress. I am much better than I used to be, but I still don’t love my neighbor as myself…
What can all of us do to love our neighbor more? I’ll spend the rest of this devotional providing some ideas that maybe you and I will actually follow!
Starting off, consider this one great quote from C.S. Lewis, who said:
Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.1
When I first read this, I thought that it was somewhat insincere to “pretend” that I loved someone… until I realized that I had done exactly that today — also at the grocery store.
The checker at the store was the type of person that I’d normally go out of my way to avoid; he was flamboyantly gay, so he and I would probably have nothing in common politically or socially. If we had been introduced at a gathering years ago, I would have probably made a snarky comment or deliberately tried to get into an argument with him.
I think he saw the cross I always wear, as he frowned slightly and he was probably thinking “Oh, there’s one of those haters!” as I was unloading my groceries onto the conveyor. Well, in order to break the silence I explained why we were getting so many groceries — that we had just returned from a three-week trip and the cupboards were pretty bare. That broke the ice, and he asked me where we had traveled. I said it was a trip to Texas to see the eclipse, wildflowers and a national park, and he asked to see pictures, which I quickly displayed for him from my phone.
When he saw a box of fettucine on the conveyor belt, he asked what I was making for dinner, so I told him. He mentioned a few pasta dishes he was partial to and that he likes making his own fresh pasta, which I congratulated him for (I’ve never had the skill or patience!).
By the time I got the receipt and thanked him, I think we both had a better impression of each other than we did at the start of the transaction. For me, it was “What a pleasant person!” and for him it may have been “I’ll be darned; a nice Christian!”
A couple more quick ideas on how all of us might be able to love our neighbors more.
1 - Think of how God sees that person. We all tend to have personal biases that filter our thoughts about people. God doesn’t — He loves us all! That other person is also a child of God, whether or not he or she realizes it yet. If Jesus chose to die for them, why should we consider them differently than He did?
2 - Don’t focus on the negatives. In my example of today’s interaction with the grocery checker, I admit that I judged the young man by his external actions and that I had a negative reaction. As Christians, we should be much better than that! We should instead focus on the excellence in other people. As Paul wrote in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
3 - Consider that the other person might be going through a rough time. This was the first lesson I think I learned when I found my way back to Christ. When I think about the guy in the truck who almost ran into me today, my first thought was “What an idiot!” My second thought was “Wow, he was really distracted, I wonder if he just got a phone call that a love one died or is in the hospital?”
Perhaps if that second thought had gone through my mind before the first, I would have been less likely to honk, cuss, and judge.
4 - Forgive as you have been forgiven. When I think of how the Lord has forgiven my sins and my faults, I find myself getting teary-eyed. Some of the things I’ve done and said in the past are almost beyond forgiveness, but I have been forgiven. Quoting Paul again, this time from Colossians 3:12-13: “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.”
5 - Pray for your neighbor. The older I get, the more I appreciate the gift of prayer. It calms my mind, it helps me to understand others, and it gives me the chance to intercede with God on behalf of someone who might not be a believer. I’m not saying we all have to get on our knees for hours praying for every person we ran into today, but if you happen to have a continuing situation with someone who is obviously struggling, even a short, heartfelt prayer is heard by God. Perhaps your short intercession may be answered by that person turning away from sin and toward Jesus!
6 - Pray for God to change your heart. Especially if your “neighbor” is someone you’ve had a longstanding difficulties with or if you have a built-in preconception about a group of people, it’s helpful to pray for God to change your heart. In Ezekiel 36:26, the Lord promised His people “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
Getting rid of that heart of stone should make loving your neighbor much easier to accomplish every day.
Heaven On Wheels Daily Prayer:
Thank You, Lord, for forgiving me, for convicting me so that I recognize that I’m doing something wrong, and for helping me to become a lot better in terms of loving others than I have been — although I still have a long ways to go. I thank You that we have the example of Jesus to emulate, the perfect example of love that is boundless and eternal. I pray each day that You will change my heart so that I become a much more loving person. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN.
Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. lockman.org.
C.S. Lewis (1996). “Joyful Christian”, p.140, Simon and Schuster