Ephesians: Two Shall Become One
Ephesians 5:31-33; Genesis 2:24 - Let’s bring God back into the joining of men and women together in marriage.
“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:31-33 NASB1995
The final passage in Ephesians 5 begins in verse 31 by quoting Genesis 2:24 (the text is in all capital letters in Ephesians):
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24 NASB1995
These ares the classic words that are heard in most traditional weddings (we heard them at our ceremony). This is a great mystery, as it echoes the relationship between Christ and the church. Here is Enduring Word commentary on this mystery:
b. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh: Paul quoted this essential passage from Genesis 2:24. Relevant to marriage, it shows that just as the first man and the first woman were one – she was taken from him, and then brought back to him – so it could be said of every married man today that he is joined to his wife. God did the joining. Husbands can resent it, they can resist it, they can ignore it, but it doesn’t change the fact.
i. It shows a fundamental principle for promoting oneness in marriage: there must be a leaving (of former associations) and a cleaving (joining together as one).
c. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church: It would be easy to think that the Genesis 2:24 passage (also quoted by Jesus in Matthew 19:5) only speaks about marriage. Paul wants us to know that it also speaks about the relationship between Christ and the church.
i. This is true in regard to the pattern of the first man and the first woman. “Woman was made at the beginning as the result of an operation which God performed upon man. How does the church come into being? As the result of an operation which God performed on the Second Man, His only begotten, beloved Son on Calvary’s hill. A deep sleep fell upon Adam. A deep sleep fell upon the Son of God, He gave up the ghost, He expired, and there in that operation the church was taken out. As the woman was taken out of Adam, so the church is taken out of Christ. The woman was taken out of the side of Adam; and it is from the Lord’s bleeding, wounded side that the church comes.” (Lloyd-Jones)
ii. It is also true in regard to the pattern of marriage in general.
· It shows us that Jesus wants more than just an external, surface relationship.
· It shows us that Jesus wants us to be one with Him.
· It shows us that there is a sense in which Jesus is incomplete without us. Adam was incomplete without Eve; we can say that Eve makes up the “fullness” of Adam and makes up that which was lacking in him. And that is exactly what the church does for Jesus; Ephesians 1:23 says of the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.
iii. It shows the common connection of unity and oneness in the two relationships. “Unity, mark you for that is the essence of the marriage-bond. We are one with Christ, who made himself one with his people.” (Spurgeon)
There are some profound insights in some of this commentary, especially the observations from Martyn Lloyd-Jones equating Eve with the church and how they both emerged. We need Jesus and He is incomplete without us, so we are one with Him!
I said in my last devotional that I would talk a little bit about the state of weddings these days. So many weddings are performed in gardens and parks, on mountaintops, at wineries, in historic buildings and anywhere else but in a church. The main point of the wedding (other than having a scenic backdrop) is to have an excuse for an elaborate reception, complete with a hosted bar and sit-down dinner. There used to be bachelor parties and lovely bridal showers, but now many brides go crazy with their own bachelorette parties (Nashville, Tennessee is a popular place to see these groups of young women going from honky tonk to honky tonk). The somber and serious nature of the joining of two to be as one and seeing that reflected in Jesus and His church is nowhere to be found.
I recall attending an elaborate wedding many years ago that a co-worker put together for his daughter; this shindig cost thousands of dollars. That daughter and the son-in-law got divorced about three years later. Another wedding we attended a few years ago was held in a winery and God was completely missing from the vows and ceremony, which only lasted about 10 minutes and was was performed by a friend of the groom who was a justice of the peace. Lots of wedding vows these days neglect our Creator, by the way. I look back at our wedding and am grateful that it was true to the scriptural intent, even though I was not happy at the time because of my stubbornness about the role of women in society and in a marriage.
Paul repeats his admonishments to the husband and wife, about love and respect. Here is the commentary from Enduring Word again:
a. Nevertheless: Paul really taught on two things at once. He teaches about marriage, but he also teaches about God’s pattern for marriage – the relationship between Jesus and His people. So in Ephesians 5:31 and 32 he has focused on the relationship between Jesus and His people and is getting really excited about it. Then Paul seemed to remember that his original topic was marriage, so that is why he used the word nevertheless in Ephesians 5:33.
i. This was Paul’s way of saying, “I know I got off the topic a little bit. So let’s come back to the matter of marriage, and I’ll sum it up for you. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
b. Let each one of you: This means that everyone is included. We can say this about all the teaching on marriage. It is easy to say, “Well, I’m just not that sort of person, so I’ll never do very well.” Husbands do it, saying, “I’m just not very loving.” Wives do it, saying, “I’m just not the submissive sort.” But no matter what our natural disposition is, we have a target to shoot for, and let each one of you in particular means we all should set our eyes on the target the Bible shows us.
c. So love his own wife as himself: Paul again stressed the unity that a husband must recognize and let shape his thinking and his actions.
i. “Unity is the central principle in marriage; and it is because so many people in this modern world have never had any conception of what is involved in marriage, from the standpoint of unity, that they are riding so loosely to it and breaking their vows and pledges, so much so that divorce has become one of the major problems in our age. They have never caught sight of this unity; they are still thinking in terms of their individuality, and so you have two people asserting their rights, and therefore you get clashes and discord and separation. The answer to all that, says Paul, is to understand this great principle of unity.” (Lloyd-Jones)
ii. “He is given the position of dignity and of leadership and of headship; and if he understands what it means he will never abuse it, he will never misuse it, by being harsh or dictatorial or unkind or unfair. To be guilty of such behaviour is a denial of the marriage principle, and means that there is an absence of the Spirit.” (Lloyd-Jones)
d. Let the wife see: Paul called the wife to pay special attention here. This may be a point where many wives might excuse themselves for one reason or another, but Paul emphasized, “Let the wife see.”
e. Let the wife see that she respects her husband: This word respects is the same word often used of the reverential fear and awe the disciples had toward Jesus. It is a strong statement, but it indicates that the wife should respect the husband so highly that it points in this direction.
i. “The Apostle used a very striking word here. It is rightly translated in the Authorized Version as ‘reverence’; but the word really means ‘fear’. ‘And the wife see that she fears her husband’. But we must remember that there are different types of fear… he speaks of ‘reverential’ fear. What it really means is ‘deference’, ‘with reverential obedience’.” (Lloyd-Jones)
ii. “The wife is to treat her husband with deference; in other words, she is to recognize this biblical and Christian view of marriage, she is to regard the husband as her head, the head of this new unit. They are both one, but there is a head to the unit, as there is a head to our body, as Christ is the Head of the church.” (Lloyd-Jones)
f. Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband: If Paul’s message in this great passage could be boiled down to two principles which must govern our thinking and our actions as married people, those two are:
· Husbands: Understand that you and your wife are one, are a unity.
· Wives: Understand that your unity has a head – your husband.
i. Wives are quick to embrace and understand the husband’s principle, and they want that to be the governing principle of the marriage.
ii. Husbands are quick to embrace and understand the wife’s principle, and they want that to be the governing principle of the marriage.
iii. But we must let our principle govern us. When you have a husband thinking, “I’m one with my wife, and I must think and act that way,” and a wife thinking, “My husband is the head of our oneness, and I need to respect and defer to him as the head,” then you will have a healthy, Biblical marriage.
iv. “The supreme thing always is to consider our Lord Jesus Christ. If a husband and wife are together considering Him, you need have no worry about their relationship to each other.” (Lloyd-Jones)
These principles of marriage seem very important to me now because they reflect the unity we should have with Jesus. I think if the principles were followed, it would go a long ways toward remedying some of the societal issues we have like rampant divorce rates, fatherless households, pressures on women to “do it all”, and downward spiraling birth rates.
My next devotional examines Ephesians 6:1-3 - Children obey your parents.
Heaven on Wheels Daily Prayer:
Dear Lord - I love the mystery of the joining of two together and am grateful for our marriage, although we neglected Your presence for many years. Help us to grow together as we enter our final golden years of life. Amen.
Citations and Credits:
Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.Lockman.org.
Precept Austin was accessed on 06/13/2026 to review commentary for Ephesians 5:31-33.
Commentary from Enduring Word is used with written permission and without any alteration. ©1996-present The Enduring Word Bible Commentary by David Guzik – enduringword.com. Within the Enduring Word commentary:
Lloyd Jones, D. Martyn: God’s Ultimate Purpose (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1980)
Lloyd Jones, D. Martyn: Life in the Spirit, In Marriage, Home & Work (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1975)
Lloyd Jones, D. Martyn: The Christian Soldier (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1977)
Lloyd Jones, D. Martyn: The Christian Warfare (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1981)
Spurgeon, Charles Haddon The New Park Street Pulpit, Volumes 1-6and The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, Volumes 7-63 (Pasadena, Texas: Pilgrim Publications, 1990)